The Threadcount Conspiracy

Editorial /

18 September 2008


A few months ago when shopping for new bedding, I came to a few general conclusions having spent a few hours at a couple of the big-box linen dealers:

  1. Sheets and all that bedding crap is expensive. Way expensive.
  2. I wasn’t able to tell an appreciable difference between 300 ct. sheets and anything higher (350, 400, 600, and now even 1000!).
  3. King size is a rip-off. Especially pillow cases!

Rather than fork over close to $100 for a sheet set, I chose instead to hit Target and get their super soft and cuddly jersey (t-shirt material) sheets for $19.99.

Come to find out, that whole threadcount escalation that’s gone on over the past few years is just marketing bs. Threadcount isn’t even the most important determining factor for ‘softness.’  Bastards!

Details found at the following URL:


The Miami 305’s Fall In Monday Night Shootout

Sport /

16 September 2008


Going into Monday Night Football’s Philly at Dallas matchup, the rookie Miami 305’s held a tenuous 17 point lead over the seasoned Vampires led by veteran coach, Daniel Green. The Vampires exploded Monday night for some 31 points mostly on the back of running back Felix Jones.

“Its a tough loss – one I don’t think this team will forget anytime soon,” remarked 305’s coach Rob Rubinoff. “This game is played for four full quarters. Not three, not even 3 and a half. Four. I’ve got to hand it to coach Green and his Vampires. They played their hearts out till the bitter end.”

The Miami 305’s hopes for a low scoring, defensive battle were blown to smithereens in what many are calling one of Monday Night Football’s best contests ever. “We certainly were hoping for an old-school NFC East game. Neither defense seemed capable of containing the other. I had a hunch by half-time our chances for a victory were few if any.” Rubinoff said.

“I put this loss on my shoulders. I made some panicked personnel decisions in the closing hours before kick-off this week. Ted Ginn Jr? Someone should drug-test me on that one. Zero. Ted Ginn Jr.? Man that was dumb!.” Quipped the first-year coach from Miami, FL. “Hurricane Ike sorta had me in a tizzy and rather than relying on my gut, I felt I had an opportunity there. Oh and another thing. Hasselbeck – you suck. You suck  and so does your mousy wife.” remarked Rubinoff before slamming shut his playbook and heading for the showers.

Alas next week brings hope to The Miami 305’s as they set their sights on Rick Moore and his Stinky Stinky’s.


Slovakia over Bulgaria 82-0 in Women’s Hockey Qualifier

Sport /

15 September 2008


Canadian Yahoo sports blog has the info and video evidence. The last of the three posted videos also has what looks to be a women’s hockey brawl.


The Miami 305’s Set To Tackle Verde’s Vampires

Sport / ,

14 September 2008


I had to make some last minute roster changes to account for the bye week imposed on Andre Johnson by Hurricane Ike. Houston’s Reliant Stadium took a beating during Friday night’s storm, and the game has been postponed until November. I snagged Ted Ginn Jr., of the Miami Dolphins, and placed him on my starting roster. Its a risky play – but one I hope will provide me with at least 7 points.

Another unknown is the QB position – I have Hasselback, Pennington, and Buffalo’s Trent Edwards (who I picked up to play specifically during week 4 when both of my other QB’s have scheduled bye weeks). Matt Ryan of the ATL is also available. There seems to be some sentiment that last week’s modest point output by Ryan is a fluke. I plan to make a decision this week and drop one of these QB’s and possibly pick up another RB or WR.

The U is still very well represented – with over half of my starting line-up consisting of former University of Miami Hurricane players including: Frank Gore, Reggie Wayne, Santana Moss, Kellen Winslow Jr, and Edgerrin James. Again, my projected points are spread very well among all players – this strategy payed off last week as I’m not relying on a 30 point game by an individual to bring victory. Solid, rather unremarkable, yet completely realistic play across the board should make The Miami 305’s 2 and 0 by Tuesday morning…


The Finest Corinthian Leather

Found, The Internets / ,

10 September 2008


Link: Chrysler Cordoba commercial with Ricardo Montalbán

I know my own needs, and what I need from an automobile, I know I get from this new Cordoba.

I could ask for nothing beyond the quality of Cordoba’s workmanship, the tastefulness of its appearance.

I request nothing beyond the thickly cushioned luxury of seats available even in soft Corinthian leather.

Yet, it is on the highway where Cordoba best answers my demands.

I have much more in this small Chrysler than great comfort at a most pleasant price.

I have great confidence, for which there can be no price.

In Cordoba, I have what I need.


The Miami 305’s Triumph Victoriously

Sport /

9 September 2008


Despite all the smack-talk, the veteran El Pollo Diablo’s were unable to match the output of the Rookie 305’s. Frank Gore, former standout running back from The U, led all 305’s scorers with 21 points. “Hey, eventhough The U has been known as Quarterback U for decades now, the Canes still can churn out RB’s,” said The Miami 305’s coach Rob Rubinoff. “When it comes to game-day, there’s no-one else I’d like to be handling the pigskin than a former Miami Hurricane,” Rubinoff quiped.

Rob Bridges, coach of the disappointing El Pollo Diablo (The Devil Chicken), was not able to be reached before press. However, a spokesperson for Mr. Bridges, his 5 year old daughter, released the following statement to the media:

“My Daddy is very mean when he looses. He was crying and throwing popcorn all over the family room. Mom said he even kicked the dog. I know Daddy picked a crappy team, but please – for the love of us little kids – please let my Daddy win next week.”

When asked to comment on the Diablo’s press release, Miami 305’s coach Rubinoff relented “Yeah – I wish I hadn’t beat up so much on those Diablo’s. You sure hate to mess with someone’s emotional balance and serenity… But when it comes to game-day, there’s no-one else I’d like to be handling the pigskin than a former Miami Hurricane.”

Next up for The Miami 305’s – Verde’s Vampires.


Week One: Miami 305 vs. El Pollo Diablo

Sport /

7 September 2008


OK – I admit it. Despite my pre-league jitters in having never played fantasy football, I am psyched and excited for today’s matchup against my boss, Rob Bridges and his El Pollo Diablo team. On paper projection from, I am favored by 19. Rob was talking some major smack on friday morning at work – letting me know he was going to let me win just like he lets his 5 year old win at checkers. Ouch! That has some sting in it!

We shall see who claims victory by monday night’s end…

UPDATE: At the end of the 2nd quarter of the sunday afternoon games, I am up 70-56. Ricky Williams huge disappointment w/ 3 points. Jay Pennington big surprise w/ 21 points on my bench to Hasselback’s 11. Bucs hold for 14 pts on D. Frank Gore is tearing it up in the 1st half. Already w/ 16 pts. This is fun.


Canes Play Gators Tight – Lose In End

Sport /

7 September 2008


26-3. Those are the numbers that will run across the ticker and sit atop the box-scores for Saturday night’s game between the #5 ranked Florida Gators and The U. Those numbers however belie a true accomplishment in how the young Hurricanes stymied and held the Gators to a mere 6 point lead for three quarters of play.

DEFENCE: Watch out. The Canes are fast, aggressive as demonstrated in their capacity to shut down a Heisman trophy winner and SEC powerhouse. The defensive line is comprised of hungry monsters. Linebackers show fantastic speed. Secondary able to stay with and cut-off Florida’s talented receiving core (as demonstrated by Gators QB taking sacks and hits).

OFFENCE: Robert Marve has the swagger, mobility and arm of a QB worthy of playing at Quarterback U. His ability to roll-out and laser to receivers is an awesome capability – and this was his first D-I start – and it was in the Swamp. RB’s look as though they have some work to do although they were able to find holes at times in the Gator front. WR’s need some maturing but no doubt will be a threat moving forward.

COACHING: Poise. Discipline. Unintimidated. Maybe one mistake was playing Jacory Harris as QB for more than a single series just as Marve was getting some rythym and making things tick. I don’t think it made a difference in the end.

Playing in a relatively weak conference overall, I think The U has a real chance of being at the top of the ACC at year’s end and maybe even winning it out-right. Florida is a super-talented team led by last year’s Heisman trophy winner Tim Tebou. The Canes played them tight – toe to toe. I am really excited for UM football despite the loss.


Cledus ‘Snowman’ Snow, RIP

Culture / ,

3 September 2008


You made jabbin’ on the C.B. radio cool. You made love for a slobbering hound something a man could aspire to. You made runnin’ from the law and aiding and abetting a fugutive seem perfectly inline with mainstream moral convictions.

You stood up to Buford T. Justice and helped the Bandit escape.

Snowman, I solute you.


Smokey the Bear Makeover

Culture /

3 September 2008


In the anthropomorphic Smokey, note the human dentition and eyes. Learn more about Smokey and check him out over the years in posters and other media at his website:


Page 51 of 54« First...102030...4950515253...Last »