17 Steps To Induce Physical Intimacy With A Currently Uninterested Individual

Faux time-travel trickery – What a find!

The Internets / ,

28 May 2009

 

time-pursuasion

A very creative soul over at  Batteries Feel Included has outlined their suggested 17 Steps towards resolving the following common predicament:

So, you’re in love with one of your friends, but she has a boyfriend and probably wouldn’t have sex with you anyway.

Manipulating one’s assumptions with regard to the commonly held assertion of time as a linear progression lies at the heart of this ploy. For example, the author cites the following under Step 11:

Step Eleven: Pause for ten seconds to allow the incrediblness of the situation to sink in. There will be no reason for her to doubt your claim, because your beard will make you appear many years older and your cuts would add weight to the idea that you’ve come from a post-apocalyptic future where a war is currently taking place.

Read the full list over at Batteries Feel Included.

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